It can be difficult for children to tell their parents they are getting a divorce. This may be due to a fear of disappointing them since parents are, in many cases, more emotionally invested in their children’s marriages than other loved ones.
You need to talk to your parents about your divorce as soon as possible. Here is how you can do this :
Decide what to say
Plan what to say when talking to your parents about your divorce. You want to be honest but not give too many details. Thus, choose statements that ensure they are well-informed without sharing too much about matters you have not come to terms with yet.
Tell them how you feel
When talking to other people aside from your spouse and child, if you have any, such as your employer, you don’t need to disclose your feelings. But it can help to do so when talking to your parents. If you have fears or concerns, let your parents know about them and how they can support you.
Discuss what you plan to do
While you may not have everything mapped out, your parents might be concerned about your plans. Where will you live? Who will stay with the kids before the divorce is finalized? Are you seeking therapy? How are your finances?
These are a few examples of the common questions parents ask when they learn their children are getting a divorce. Thus, you should be ready for them. Provide answers if you have or tell them you are still planning. It’s vital to set clear boundaries during the conversation to avoid feeling pressured to make decisions.
You may never have thought you would have a divorce conversation with your parents, but things change. The tips discussed above can help you have a smoother conversation. You should also consider legal guidance to understand the divorce process in depth.
What Your Parents May Ask About the Legal Process in Virginia
Parents often want to understand the legal timeline as much as the emotional one. Virginia does not recognize “irreconcilable differences” as a standalone ground for divorce. Instead, most couples pursue a no-fault divorce, which requires spouses to live separate and apart, without cohabitation, for a set period before the court can grant the final decree:
- Six months — if the couple has no minor children and has signed a written separation agreement resolving property, support, and debt
- Twelve months — in all other cases, including when minor children are involved or no written agreement exists
At least one spouse must also have lived in Virginia for six months before a Circuit Court can accept the case. Couples who allege fault-based grounds, such as adultery, cruelty, or des
ertion, may be able to move forward without waiting out the full separation period, though these cases typically involve more complex litigation.
Virginia law changed on July 1, 2026: under HB 303, either spouse can now file for a divorce from bed and board immediately upon separation, without alleging fault and without waiting out the six- or twelve-month period. A divorce from bed and board addresses support, custody, and property issues but does not fully dissolve the marriage or restore the right to remarry — it can still be a useful first legal step while the separation period runs. This is a recent development, so it’s worth mentioning to your parents if they remember longer waiting periods from past experience.
If your parents ask what comes next, a Richmond divorce attorney can walk your family through Virginia’s residency rules, separation requirements, and the options available under the new bed-and-board provisions.
FAQs
How Do I Tell My Parents I Am Getting a Divorce?
Choose a private setting with enough time for questions, decide in advance how much detail you’re comfortable sharing, state the decision directly rather than leading with blame, and be ready to tell them what support (emotional, financial, or logistical) would actually help you.
Do I Need To Be Separated Before I Tell My Parents?
No. You can have this conversation as soon as you’ve made the decision — you do not need to have moved out, filed paperwork, or started Virginia’s separation period first.
What If My Parents Do Not Approve Of My Divorce?
Some parents react with disappointment or disagreement, especially for religious or cultural reasons. Setting a boundary — for example, that the decision is final even if they disagree — can help keep the conversation from becoming a negotiation.
Should I Tell My Parents Before Or After Telling My Children?
There’s no legal requirement either way, but many family law practitioners recommend telling children first, in a calm and unified way if possible, so they don’t learn about the divorce secondhand from extended family.
Can My Parents Be Involved In My Divorce Case In Virginia?
Parents are not automatically part of a divorce case, but they may be asked to serve as witnesses on issues like character, caregiving, or the history of the marriage, particularly in contested custody matters.
How Long Does A Divorce Take In Virginia?
A no-fault divorce generally takes seven to fifteen months from separation to final decree, driven largely by the required six- or twelve-month separation period, plus filing and processing time.
What Changed With Virginia Divorce Law In 2026?
As of July 1, 2026, HB 303 allows either spouse to file for a divorce from bed and board immediately upon separation, without alleging fault or waiting out the standard separation period, giving families an earlier path to resolve support, custody, and property issues.
Telling your parents is often the first conversation in a much longer process. If you’re ready to understand your legal options in Virginia, Brooks & Baez’s family law team can walk you through what to expect and help you plan your next steps.
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